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Dating
Marrying An Unsaved Person
God instructs us to not marry an unbeliever:
“And when the LORD thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite them, and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor shew mercy unto them: Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son. For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly.” (Deuteronomy 7:2-4)
We find this command reiterated in the New Testament as well:
“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.” (2 Corinthians 6:14-17)
However, if we find ourselves in a situation where we are married to an unbeliever, then we are not to get a divorce:
“But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.” (1 Corinthians 7:12-13)
This is why it is so important that we be careful who we date.
Dating Is Not A Ministry or Purposeless Activity
If we are going to follow God's rules, then when we marry someone that marriage must be for life. And if for some reason we end up divorced, then we aren't to marry anyone else as long as our former spouse is still living (see Study on Divorce). Therefore, we need to be careful with what attitude we approach dating.
Many believers have discovered a lengthy amount of time into dating that the person they are dating is likely not saved. However, by that point a strong emotional connection has already developed and the potential pain of breaking up prevents them from ending the relationship before it gets any more serious. In this situation, many people eventually find themselves marrying this person who is not saved. First of all, that marriage is not in accord with God's law and, second, a great deal of spiritual conflicts are certain to arise in the marriage. Often the believing spouse feels like perhaps his or her unbelieving spouse will become saved if witnessed to and it is this hope that prevented the believer from ending the relationship before getting married. This is why dating should not be viewed as a missions field.
It's not a good idea to approach dating lightheartedly. Our human emotions can get the best of us and compromise our judgment, such as the situation discussed in the previous paragraph. Dating someone "just for fun" has the potential to set us up for a complicated situation if we become intensely interested in each other and one of us is not saved. It is more adviseable to break off a relationship as soon as it becomes evident that the person we are dating is not someone we perceive to be a suitable spouse for us.
Arranged Marriages
Arranged marriages take place in some areas of the world. This is where the spouse is chosen by someone other than the person getting married. Often it is the parents, a religious leader, or some other third party who chose the spouse.
God’s laws regarding divorce and the roles of the spouses are the same regardless of the how the marriage came to be (see Study on Divorce). His law indicates that we are to love our spouse, even if we do not feel a romantic love toward our spouse. We as humans (especially in our American society) place a great deal of importance on the feelings of romantic love, but that is not the kind of love God has in mind when He says we are to love our spouses. He is referring to the kind of love Christ has for the believers, the kind of love we are to have for our fellow man.
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